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Take notice of the behaviour you like

Take notice of the behaviour you like

Welcome to blog number 4 of our family survival kit for creating a better work/life balance while working from home. In this blog, we would like to talk to you about giving positive attention to the behaviour you like.

In these demanding times, it is easy to see the difficult things that we have to deal with. But it is also a time to think about what is most important and valuable to us.
Welcome to blog number 4 of our family survival kit for creating a better work/life balance while working from home. In this blog, we would like to talk to you about giving positive attention to the behaviour you like.

In these demanding times, it is easy to see the difficult things that we have to deal with. But it is also a time to think about what is most important and valuable to us.

As we mentioned in our previous blog, everything you give attention grows. Taking notice of behaviour we like is an important step in dealing with undesirable behaviour and to stimulate new behaviour. If you encourage the behaviour you like, the chances are bigger this behaviour will happen again.

Step one

values, skills and behaviour:

Step one – values, skills and behaviour:

So the first step in taking notice of behaviour we like from our children is to think about values, skills and behaviour we wish to encourage in our children.

For example: we like our children to take turns, to be helpful, to take care of others, to be cooperative and to get on well with siblings. These life skills are important to teach our children and they come in handy during the time that we are working from home. There are many opportunities to teach these life skills to our children. But we do not always notice them!

Step two

compliments for each skill:

Step two – compliments for each skill:

The second step is to make a list of these skills and write down a compliment for each skill on your list.

For example: You would like your son and daughter to get on well with each other more often. Every time you see them listening to each other or if they say something friendly to each other you can praise and give positive attention. You could say something like; ‘it was nice of you to listen to your sister, now you came up with a plan together’ or ‘that was a very friendly thing to say to your brother’.

You can make this list together
with your partner or relative(s) who live together with you.
And when you are a single parent, maybe a friend or family member can support you.
Together with others, it is more likely to come up with appropriate compliments. And it is more likely that everybody in the house will use them!

Step three
words into action:

Step three – words into action:

And the last step is to put words into action.
Praising your child works best if you’re being honest and enthusiastic and if you give descriptive praise. So only give your child a compliment if you mean it gives them positive attention by letting them know you are pleased by telling them what they have just done.

For example: your child made a drawing for your neighbour. A beautiful gesture and a great life skill (being caring) to learn. So you could say something like, ‘that’s a lovely drawing you have made for our neighbour. That’s really kind. She will really appreciate that.’
Use plenty of praise and positive attention to encourage behaviour you like!

Praising and positive attention is also lifesaving for working parents! So write down a few compliments for yourself on paper and put them on the mirror or door in the house you pass every day. All parents deserve a compliment every day!

Working parents you are amazing!

If you have any questions; please feel free to contact us for an online parenting coaching session.